Solitude 

Podcasts. At first, I thought the idea was a bit terrible: amateurish radio full of self important types who wanted to hear their own voices. Listening to someone read their blog? No thanks.

Then, of course, came the Ricky Gervais podcast. It was suggested, by various people, that I give it a go so I did, and I’ve never looked back. Half an hour of bizarre rants by the incomparable Karl Pilkington, coralled by Gervais and writing partner Stephen Merchant. For the journey to and from work (back when I had such a thing), it was care-free easy entertainment in half an hour.

Despite reading 250-odd sites via their feeds, I can count on one hand the number of podcasts that I listen to. Why? They’re almost always far too long. Unless you are a top comedian or niche commentator, chances are you don’t have the talent to make it worth most people’s while to listen for half an hour. That’s a long time to give up in one solid block. It’s not even that your material doesn’t warrant a listen, it’s just that it requires a great deal of effort to sit down once a week or so for that length of time. There are a few podcasters that I would like to listen to, Dustin Diaz being a prime example, but it feels too much like adding a signficant burden to the already considerable pile of stuff to do, the masses of other media already taking up my time.

The solution? Make shorter podcasts! I, and I’m sure many others, would be more receptive to six 5 minute podcasts a week than one half hour effort. It’s only five minutes that needs to be squeezed in — heck, you can do that while checking your email at work in the morning.

And you know what? It’ll be good for some of you (not pointing any fingers) to show some editorial skills and restraint. Sure, the banter is important, but it often threatens to overtake important messages. Bite-sized is best.

Some gems this month, some crud.

First off is X-Men 3. If you’ve seen the first two, you know exactly what to expect: brainless over the top action, terrible dialogue, and a plot which is poor enough before the fan boys scream at it for being entirely off-canon. The show can be pretty and there are some good moments (exemplified by the under utilised Kitty Pryde) but it is, for the most part, forgettable.

Remakes are hard to do, and classic disaster movies like the Poseidon Adventure are no different. Renamed to simply Poseidon, we get the same premise: a luxury cruise liner is sinking and a small band of survivors want to escape. Despite the plot, this is a film that manages to create some genuine drama and suspense with masterful shifts of water and fate. If you can place the character development as secondary to the spectacle of the journey through an upturned ship, then there is plenty here to enjoy.

From Hong Kong comes a Triad flick, Election. Following the fate of two potential leaders of the triad at the upcoming traditional elections, we see a power struggle fought out politically at first, but quickly turning to violence. An interesting take against the good and bad dichotomy (even the “good” side are bad), the film still does not surpass the sum of its admittedly competent parts.

Thank You For Smoking is a fine comedy about a smooth-talking, tobacco industry lobbyist who tries to balance his job with raising his son well. It’s a surprisingly well cast film, even Rob Lowe comes off well, full of the sort of lines that you will be quoting for months to come if you are the sort of person who does such things. Definitely one to see.

Spanish film El Lobo is based on the story of the mole sent to infiltrate ETA in order to collapse the Basque leadership and stop violent action against the Spanish state. We follow the main character from his family life through to militant spy. While some of the progression is patchy at best, the story is decent enough. If you view it more as a dramatised and possibly skewed documentary, then you won’t go far wrong.

On the other hand, if you watch Ultraviolet you will go far wrong. Let me start by saying it’s a candidate for worst film of the year, it’s that bad. The ineptitude of this film permeates through every fibre of its being: the lousy acting, the drunken plot (the term is used loosely), the abysmal lighting, CGI, physical world; everything is wrong. And not just wrong: inconsistent. The only way a film could be this poorly conceived is out of sheer malice.

Finally, Fearless is the final martial arts film starring Jet Li, before he takes more serious roles (how long will it last? Not long). The plot is pretty standard (brash young kung fu kid makes horrible mistake, takes up a simpler life, then returns as a wisened master) but, as always, it’s the choreography that makes the film. The fights are the nuanced masterworks of motion that we’ve come to expect, and with minimal wirework encroaching into the sense of solidity. Though it won’t change the world, Fearless is a solid kung-fu film.

The winner for June is: Thank You For Smoking.