There are a lot of rules when it comes to writing credible English. If you happen to be in high school you will almost certainly be penalised for breaking them since it will be assumed you don’t know the rule in the first place. Sometimes, however, it is entirely appropriate to do so.

The idea of never splitting infinitives should almost certainly be ignored. Dating back to when Latin was a useful language, it was common to force Latin grammar rules onto English. Now while it made sense to keep the infinitive together in Latin (for reasons which someone versed in Latin would be better explaining) it was entirely arbitrary in English.

While arbitrary decisions are inherent in all language (language itself being capricious in origin and development), those which make the language or syntax uglier should be avoided. “To truly understand” is far cleaner and easier flowing in natural language than “truly to understand”. In general, never splitting infinitives tends to create more ambigous language, and contorts perfectly good English.

There are a multitude of other rules that should be broken, and common traits which should be purged, but more on that another day.

Note that “TAR file smart CR/LF conversion” in WinZip is only smart if you happen to know it exists and aren’t doing cross platform development which is being screwed up by said conversion. Hours wasted.

Tool developers: if your tool isn’t supposed to mung the date in some way, leave it alone.

With a plot involving a decrepit Elvis, a black JFK in a wheelchair, and protecting a retirement home from an evil soul-sucking mummy preying on the residents, Bubba Ho-Tep isn’t your typical film. Starring the legendary Bruce Campbell this film is entertaining from the first moody line right through to the great, if predictable, ending.

Although it clearly revels in the surreal setting and characters, Bubba is also very grounded; having a lot to say about growing old and getting wise, preparing for the future and dealing with uncertainty. Damn near poignant if it wasn’t interrupted by mummy crap jokes.

All the roles are excellently cast. You soon won’t be questioning that Elvis is alive and well (apart from that wart).

Funny, smart, crazy. Easily one of the best films of the year.

The main conceit of Saw is a clever one, bringing around a scenario which is both fascinating and terrifying: two complete strangers trapped in opposite corners of a basement room, one having to kill the other within a matter of hours. As would be expected the story begins unfurling the matter of why they might want to kill each other, and who brought them to this place.

The real problem in Saw is the execution. There are some truly woeful directing decisions. Where the film should have kept the detached, cold feel of the opening scenes, we begin getting spinning blipcuts with nu-metal playing over the top. Totally inappropriate and very jarring. This extended into the lighting which, although clearly intended to dehumanise some of the other victims, gave a slightly comical air reminiscent of House Of A Thousand Corpses. Let’s not even get into the hammy acting by Cary Elwes (an actor I previously admired, primarily for his spoof work).

A shame to waste such a good concept.

Metroblogging is a set of location-based collaborative blogs. Bloggers sign up to write about their city, the events and lifestyle therein. A good idea.

It’s about time we got a Glasgow one. Go over and sign up. Apparently it takes about 10 people from a single city to sign-up to get the city activated. Although I’m undecided about joining myself (got a lot of other work to do), I’d like to see a few decent writers from the area join.