For the final film fight of the year, we have a fairly forgettable bunch, with one stand-out exception among the mediocrity. Despite this lack of greatness, we shall continue.

Doom has been a long time coming, with the rights being moved around for years. Was it worth the wait? As expected, no. It’s a terrible and utterly mindless film that both misses the point of the game and pads the storyline out with some horrible faux-science. Despite some previously inspired roles, such as in the otherwise awful Be Cool, The Rock is dire; playing entirely to type, in the most unconvincing manner. Expect all the worst Hollywood action cliches. Do not see this.

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, on the other hand, is surprisingly great, despite the awful trailer and eyebrow raising cast. A modern pastiche of classic noir private eye films, this film manages to raise some laughs with an expertly done take on the classic stereotypes of the genre: our hero gets beaten up constantly, the icey cool PI is gay (groomed, not camp), and the sultry lady involved in the whole affair will, and does, sleep with anyone. Throw in a slightly surreal, but well-executed, plot, some moments of inspired comic genius (the corpse in the shower), and some finely pitched characters and you’ve got a hit. Very good film.

You wouldn’t expect a documentary about the mating rituals of a kind of penguin to get an international release but, due to the American Christian right insisting it is proof of the existence of God, it did. Leaving aside the questionable reasoning in that assertion (to me, it suggests the opposite), March Of The Penguins is an okay film. It does exactly what it says it will and no more, and that’s fine; the life cycle of the Emperor Penguin is complex and interesting. Despite this, the cinematic release is fairly unwarranted. It does nothing more than any other nature documentary and suffers when compared to other films.

Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe is part of the classic series of books once turned into a kids TV series by the BBC. This big-budget interpretation is quite different, sticking slightly closer to the books in tone, but losing character for it. The Christian allegory throughout the series is front and centre here, where the televisation kept it roughly in the background allowing it to shape events from there rather than saturate the story. There is, of course, nothing wrong with such allegory (the well-meaning lessons therein are to be commended). However, the manner in which they are handled seems fairly superficial and forced, as if someone read an essay on the meaning of the book before touching the screen play. While it is essentially a good kids film, it is nothing particularly special. Shame that.

Though a lot of noise has been made about this film of the musical of the classic Mel Brooks’ comedy, The Producers, the simple fact of the matter is it just isn’t as good as the original. That’s hardly suprising given how excellent that film is. What is surprising, however, is the terrible job that several of the main characters do. Matthew Broderick is the key failure here, with a characterisation both one-dimensional and crudely developed. He isn’t the only problem, with lacklustre performances by many. The pacing is wildly off as well. The climax of the film’s central play is easily a crescendo, followed by too many acts of plodding around wrapping up the story. While this is obviously necessary for the film to make sense, it’s handled in such a dull manner as to drag far longer than it should. Pedestrian, at best.

It should be fairly clear from that lot that the December winner is the fantastic Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. With a winner for every month of the year, it’s only a day or two until the Film Fight Finale (who didn’t see that coming?) where the best film of the year shall be revealed.

As all the cool kids seem to be doing it(oh the humour in that link text :P), I think it is appropriate for me to wish everyone who has been reading this site a Merry Christmas!

Hope everyone gets what they want, stuffs themselves silly and watches some bad tv tomorrow. Enjoy!

It seems that the excellent Nizlopi have gotten to number one. I implore everyone to go and buy a copy of this tomorrow to ensure they get the Christmas number one.

I saw them play in Edinburgh a few months back when I went to see their support band for the night, Amplifico. The show they put on is quite unlike anything else, with a double bass, beatboxing, rapping, and folk music mixed together. After that, go seem that play at King Tuts in January (or wherever your nearest venue on their tour is).

Buy it!

I like Asian cinema. Both Japan and Korea have a list of classic films which are more shocking, amusing, insightful, innovative and fun than the vast majority of tripe that gets released in UK cinemas. That’s not to say that the West never produces imaginative or clever films, or that all Asian cinema is better; just simply that the cream of the crop released in this country from Asia (usually through the excellent Tartan Video) is above traditional cinema.

That said, something troubles me when I watch a lot of these films; particularly those of Japanese origin. They tend to have a message and do something quite different, which is a good thing, but there tend to be long scenes that drag over minutae or are hugely superflous to the key concerns. While it seems fairly obvious that directors in that region have a reign less restricted, it is not always a good thing: they suffer from a lack of tight editorial process, something Hollywood tends to be rather good with.

American studios know how long their audiences will sit and watch a film for: depending on genre, actors, and the more specific plot details. These and other factors are then used to calculate an exact run time. The thing you have to understand is that this time, unless the director holds a lot of sway, is not negotiable. Ever seen the Director’s Cut of Donnie Darko or listened to the original commentary? Both make it clear that cinematic cut of the film was much shorter than was intended and that studios won’t give even an extra minute if it can be shown that the extra time will cut into screening times later in the day. Studios can project the costs of such a delay and factor it into their release plan.

With Asian films, it may simply be something lost in translation: the original audiences may expect a little more backstory unrelated to the film, longer panoramics, slower cuts or any number of extending touches that don’t directly affect the story. These simply do not interest a Western audience; any screenwriting course will teach you to remove as much as possible, just as any good prose course will do the same.

The question I’ve come to, then, is whether or not Western distributors, such as Tartan, should edit the films they receive to cater for their audience? Obviously this would be difficult, with a careless or uncaring hand able to remove the spirit of the film with relative ease. My suspicion is that “no” is the best answer, but I can’t help but think I’d enjoy films like “Gozu” more if they were twenty minutes shorter, and I know there was at least that amount of film that could have been removed without changing the core story.

Last night was the finale of the four day Biffy Clyro end of year gigs at King Tuts and what a finish it was.

Arriving at the venue a little later than previous days, it was, again, quieter than the night before. Apparently we missed an early support act of a piper but were in time to see the main support act: comedian Phil Kay. As frantic and manic as always, he amused the crowd for the most part, even if he waned a little towards the end. Jamie Lenman (from Rruben) and Phil Kay could both be seen wandering around the upstairs bar, among other, harder to spot band members.

At 10pm, as was their custom, the band took to the stage for the final time. This time, rather than known material, the set largely comprised material from their unrecorded fourth album. What an eye-opener. In places the new stuff is heavier with less screaming, and in others more melodic; a very wide selection. So as to keep things going, every two new songs was followed by a Biffy classic. The finale of “57” was immense, the fan picked to sing “A Day Of…” was surprisingly tuneful, and new track “9/10th Prayer Of Bombidimor” was mind-blowingly complex. How Ben kept up the drumming in that, I have no idea.

As a thank you to everyone, on the way out the band gave out Christmas cards (all hand-signed) and mince pies to all.

So, 4 nights, 58 tunes, many poor renditions of Christmas tunes by the crowd, and some truly bizarre support acts later and the four days of Biffy end. Worth every penny.