April 05, 2005 | Category:

Tom Hanks Is Great

The best Tom Hanks sequels never made:

  1. Turner, Hooch And Moggy – Hooch gets rabies, so Turner (played by Hanks) teams up with a smart ass cat to fight crime and save Hooch before the local government put him down. Voice of Moggy provided by Steve Guttenberg.
  2. The Red Mile – Paul Edgecomb (Tom Hanks) is a moody prison guard who moves to an all woman facility in North Dakota. On his arrival, he is befriended by wrongly convicted female murder with bad sanitary towels. Dark, gripping and messy drama.
  3. Bigger (And More Extreme) – When bored with his executive career, a fortune telling machine turns Josh (Hanks) into a hideously disfigured giant working in a Mongolian circus. He fights the locals and cruel circus master to regain dignity and his freedom from a life in chains. Features sky-diving and nudity.
  4. Apollo 14: Search For Spock – Admiral Kirk and his bridge crew risk their careers stealing the decommissioned Enterprise to return to the restricted Genesis planet to recover Spock’s body.
  5. Philadelphia Reborn: The Dead Rise Again – The story of a lawyer who returns from the dead to take his revenge upon Philadelphia, creating a zombie army as he goes. Meg Ryan leads a team of international biologists intent on finding a cure to “the disease”, falling in love with Hanks in the process.

Man, forget this computing lark, I’m going to be a big Hollywood producer. Show me the money! On that note, Tom Cruise tomorrow…